Suspensions For Everyone!

(AP Photo)

It's that time of year again, like clockwork, professional shitheel Dan Carcillo finds himself suspended for some harebrained play.  All of you have seen the play by now, Carcillo cross checked Mathieu Perreault post whistle.  It was a "classic" Carcillo hit and in classic hockey fandom, we've all flipped the hell out.  

And here we are, 9 years into Carcillo's NHL career and he's still landing jobs.  We all know I suffer from the stupid and desire to collect all the scrubs in the legaue.  Give me your Carcillos, your Glasses, and your Bickels!  It is as if they are Pokemon and I am Ash.  Collect them all into a giant, bloodthirsty team, captained by Jordin Tootoo.  There is no rhyme or reason behind my desire to have this shit show take the ice.  Maybe it is the same part of my brain that urged me when I played the Sims to build a pool and remove the ladder (HEY! don't judge me you know you did it too!).  

I should note, I am all for a safer NHL, please don't confuse my love of these players as an approval of concussions. I fully support the decisions of the Player Safety to suspend players for bonehead moves.  Nothing makes me happier than seeing the newest helmet or breakthrough in concussion prevention.  

Here's the thing: I'm not running a professional team and yet people with my brain are clearly running teams.  People have tried to tell me it's just an "East Coast thing" or something only the Metro division does, but these goonish-like players are all over the league, masquerading as hockey players.  The NHL will never return to the goons’ glory days. the 70’s are over and we have safety concerns.  We have press conferences and summits and meetings about the importance of player safety and yet Milan Lucic, Matt Cooke, Zac Rinaldo, and Jared Boll have jobs!  

Everyone can point your fingers at me and wag them and reprimand me for being fans of the terrible, but I’m not the one signing the pay checks.  I’m not the one setting the rosters.  You want to see change?  You’re going to have to look for a different scapegoat, the fans aren’t the ones making the game changes.  If we did, there’d be far fewer lockouts.  

 So what does that say about the men in charge?  The ones choosing to put these goons out on to ice?  Could it be what I see?  I see short term value with high entertainment value.  Some of the players can contribute offensively.  Some of the players can block a shot or two.  Some of the players may be a good influence in the locker room.  Whatever the reason is, this isn’t the end of the enforcers.  This isn’t the end of Dan Carcillo.  These players will continue to find ways to repurpose themselves and GMs will continue to risk low money for the few contributions they are able to give.  

Your worst nightmare is just beginning.