Shane Bua Posted on Tuesday, August 4, 2015 at 12:52PM
Yesterday was definitely not my day. The rink schedule listed a Learn To Play session for 6:30. One of my friends went to Learn To Play last week, and noted there was very skating focused. That's exactly what I need! I'd been feeling pretty down on myself all day, and was looking forward to this.
I get to the rink, and find the locker room full of kids. Like, I'm the oldest one there by at least 15 years. It fazes me a little, but I kind of expected a lot of little kids. We're sitting on the bench waiting for the Zamboni to finish, and a coach comes up to me. She recognized me from last Thursday, and breaks the news to me that I had pretty much figured out anyway; Wednesday nights are adult learn to play, and I've shown up for the kids one.
Welp. That's entirely embarassing. Plus, I have to work tomorrow night, so I can't go then. She said I was welcome to join the kids, but once again my complete skating inability is getting in everyone's way. They're all skating circles around me. Okay, the bottom half of me. I still don't feel the least bit comfortable out there, and even worse, my left ankle's hurting for some reason. It'd been feeling weird all day, and I even taped it up before I put my skates on. A couple times around, and I'm feeling defeated. I change back to street clothes and head home.
I'm so incredibly frustrated with everything at this point, but it's my own fault. I went skating normally twice a week when I was a kid, and I've had this mindset where I remember how naturally it came then, and that I'm just expecting it to click back on. That's not going to happen, and I'm pretty sure I probably sucked then, too. I was just having too much fun with my friends (most of whom played in grade school) to notice.
This whole past week has been a really hard reality check. I was so disappointed in myself last night that I'd thought about just selling all my gear and giving up, but then I realized that I can't let that happen. If I do that, it's going to make me want to play even more. So I need to refocus myself.
Clearly, I need to start from the absolute beginning and find somebody to take basic skating lessons from. And I need to be positive. This isn't going to come to me as easily as I thought it would. I need to remember that, and take each wobbly lap around the rink as a good thing. I have yet to fall down, and when I eventually do, I have shin guards, so I can get right back up and not worry about it.