Lick It Up, Baby. Lick. It. Up.

Summer Hockey Twitter is a boring, vicious place.  We attack each other, over analyze, hypothesize, and do really dumb things.  Even hockey players are prone to being dumb and petty, with terribly formed insults.  Really not sure what happened this afternoon but thank you @atrodorsus for getting a screenshot of everything before tweets were deleted and “hackers” were blamed. 

screnshos bc im petty pic.twitter.com/nfXWVtzWdS

— conrad (@atrodorsus) July 16, 2015

The internet exploded as Jamie Benn and Jason Demers exchanged thoughts on methods of pleasing women.  The Elder Benn is clearly uninterested in diving between the fleshy thighs of a woman while Jason Demers is pro-muff diving.  Or at least smart enough to appear to enjoy the activity and gain points with the lady portion of the fandom.  

This is nothing news, “Dumb Athlete Is Dumb” happens all the time.  And there’s bigger hockey news out there in the form Mike Ribeiro being the shit stain on Nashville’s pleasantly white undies and Slava Voynov’s prison sentence beginning.  You’ll pardon me if I chose to focus on this ridiculousness of Twitter instead of the harsher truths of what’s going on in the NHL.  I like to laugh and I can’t laugh about sexual harassment or domestic violence And yes, I am aware the naked body of Tyler Seguin being displayed for us in the ESPN Body Magazine (as strong topic to laugh at as those poses are always goofy and wonderful for Photoshop), but I’m not going there.  He’s a baby.

The conversation between Jamie Benn and Jason Demers is childish and disheartening as I am a contemporary of these men.  How many women date Benn and men like Benn and don’t get the loving they deserve? I mean, when I first saw it, I just assumed Benn’s position was the general thoughts of men our age, but then I saw Twitter’s reactions.  The rude jokes at Benn’s expense, not Demers.  It was a strange side of the Internet today.  With all the misogyny floating around, I wrongly assumed and Hockey Twitter, Sports Twitter, you really impressed me.  

I know that oral sex isn’t for everyone, I don’t expect people to have the same sexual preferences (how boring of a world would that be?!) but the cocky insinuation that those who chose to go down are some how wrong about it is a bit concerning.  Oral sex can be the kinkiest activity people engage in or it could be the most vanilla activity possible.  But why does Benn or anyone else care what goes on behind closed doors, or wherever?  Sex is sex.  Sex is good.  Sex is fun.  And it’s nothing to be ashamed of or a topic to shame someone over.  

As a vagina-owner, I’m proud to know I interact with men who aren’t oversized children with beards.  As a hockey fan, I’m proud to know that #NotOurSport is standing for more than LeBron James memes and strange moral superiority.  And as someone who supports orgasms for all, it’s good to know Jason Demers keeps his head down when it counts.