The NHL's Cocktease

Let’s be honest and call today what it really was, it was like a hand job after being promised a wonderful and magical night.  Sure it was nice, but it certainly didn’t match the build up that was coming from her (her in this case being GMs).  Today’s trades were better than nothing, but at the 3pm deadline, I was left wanting more. 

The moves were— nice and safe, but not what we were expecting.  The build up with Rick Nash drama, Dustin Brown vs Mike Richards, Anaheim shopping their entire first line, the rumors about Toronto, I’m sorry but I was expecting mind blowing, bed breaking sex, I mean, big name trades. 

Instead we got this:

Anaheim picked up forward Dale Mitchell from the Toronto and sent them defenseman Mark Fraser.

Boston nabbed forward Brian Rolston and defenseman Mike Mottau from the Islanders and gave up forward Yannick Riendeau and defenseman Marc Cantin. Plus they acquired defenseman Greg Zanon from the Minnesota Wild for defenseman Steve Kampfer.

Buffalo acquired forward Cody Hodgson and defenseman Alexander Sulzer from Canucks in exchange for forward Zack Kassian and defenseman Marc-Andre Gragnani.

Chicago is now the proud owner of defenseman Johnny Oduya’s contract and the Jets received second-round pick and a third-round pick in the 2013 NHL Entry Draft.

The Avalanche wheeled and dealed with the Sharks; Sharks’ forwards Jamie McGinn, Mike Connolly and Michael Sgarbossa were sent to Colorado for T.J. Galiardi, Daniel Winnik and a 2013 seventh-round draft pick.

Oilers and Minnesota swapped defensemen.  Edmonton sent Tom Gilbert to Minnesota and picked up Nick Schultz in return.

Before the waiver deadline, Montreal picked up Brad Staubitz off waivers from the Minnesota.

Nashville caused quite a stir when they reunited Andrei Kostitsyn from the Montreal Canadiens with his brother in exchange for a 2013 second-round draft pick and 2013 conditional fifth-round draft pick AND they picked up center Paul Gaustad and a 2013 fourth-round pick from the Buffalo Sabres in exchange for a 2012 first round pick.

Rangers listened to General Ackbar/everyone with a brain and avoided the Nash trap and instead picked defensemen John Scott from Chicago in exchange for a fifth round pick in the 2012 draft.

Tampa Bay made a splash with their movement acquiring defenseman Mike Commodore from the Detroit Red Wings in exchange for a 2013 conditional seventh-round draft pick AND getting defenseman Keith Aulie from the Toronto Maple Leafs in exchange for forward Carter Ashton PLUS defenseman Brian Lee from the Ottawa Senators in exchange for defenseman Matt Gilroy. 

Canucks acquired center Samuel Pahlsson from the Columbus Blue Jackets in exchange for defenseman Taylor Ellington and two fourth-round picks in the 2012 NHL Entry Draft PLUS right wing Andrew Gordon from the Anaheim Ducks in exchange for defenseman Sebastien Erixon.

And the Jets claimed defenseman Grant Clitsome off waivers from CBJ.

Out of all of this, we MAYBE got a peek at her bra as she slipped off her shirt to get “more comfortable” but this is not acceptable. It was strictly looking!  No touching allowed!  You dangle these players in front of us but we can’t have them!  So not fair! 

And next year?  It will be the same story, we’ll go in expecting a potential Penthouse letter experience and end up feeling like we are back in high school behind the bleachers, with a release but not the one we had hoped for.