A Different Look At New Arenas
Wednesday, November 6, 2013 at 9:57PM
Cait in Anne Hathaway is too skinny, Deadpool Likes Hockey, Hockey, Hulk gets invited to things, Humor, Madison Square Garden, NHL, Opinion, Super Girl, Super Patrick Kane, Superheroes, Superman, The Bridges, Thor eats pizza

It's been a sad few years for hockey fans.  Slowly the old barns have been transforming into these monolithic, pristine white multi purpose venues where the hoity toitiest of performers will come and off set the craziest costs.  I don't know about you, but when I think of watching hockey live, my mind wanders to sticky cement floors, cinder block walls painted brown or maybe tan or pink?  And seats that have clutch marks in their arm rests from years of panicked fans.  I'm someone that feels at home in that "lived in" feeling (mind you, I'm talking about "lived in" not "we should go get vaccinated after this" filth).  

There's no question, the game of hockey is changing, but the change off the ice seems to be ignored.  Many say it's to bring in the corporate accounts, but after hanging out in the newly completed MSG, I call shenanigans.  Planners and architects and builders are looking to attract a completely untapped market for hockey fandom:

Superheroes!

Don't believe me?  

  1. The multi tiered seating is no longer a thing.  In many (not all) arenas, there was many points in which you could enter the seating area.  Meaning at most the the rows were 10 high before there was a cut off and you had to use a different entrance.  This made things like getting up and down between whistles possible.  Now MSG is set up like the Coliseum (which should never be anyone’s model except how not to do it), probably 30 rows to a section, no matter how fast you run, you’re just not making it up and down.  Pretty sure this longer stretches are to appeal to superheroes like Superman, The Flash, and Silver Surfer (as long as he can get his board beyond security)

  2. Speaking of the set up, we all know I’m on the taller end, but there are plenty of people taller than me, wider than me, all around bigger than me.  And I barely fit in the seating space.  If I don’t lower my butt directly center on that seat, I’m scraping a hip on the sides of the seat.   And there’s no shot at doing that awkward, crouch/backup so the chair folds but don’t really stand thing.  There’s about ½ inch (1.27 cm) of space between my knees and the seat in front of me.  The Thin Man would fit right in, the agility of Deadpool and Battlestar would be handy to have, and most of the women of comics portrayed in movies (I’m looking at you Anne Hathaway’s Catwoman and Scarlett Johanssan’s Black Widow) could fit comfortably.  There’s less seats and some how less space, oh right, they had to make room for the food. 

  3. Lobster rolls and pizza that costs $50 outside of The Garden are next to the peasant food (hot dogs, popcorn).  Naturally you’d think this was to attract the big wigs, but lets face it, if they are in the box, they’ve got their fancy box food that’s delivered to them.  They aren’t joining the rest of us.  And I’m sure you can find Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne hanging out in the boxes but I doubt the Thing and Hulk and Thor are fitting in those rooms.  They are men of refined taste (SHUT UP LET ME PRETEND!) and need the variety that the new MSG offers.  

  4. The Bridges, the final pieces of MSG’s renovation.  The ones that span the length of the Garden and only minimally block views?  Yeah those things, 70% of the big screen in the center of the ice (you know the one that has times, lines, score, etc) is blocked by the bridges.  The live feed is crystal clear,  but the top bit, with the information?  Hidden!  And I can only assume it’s to test the skills of Power Girl, Super Boy and the whole Super family.  

SEE!  And I’m sure it’s the same at your arena too!  So many complaints but really I think the NHL is trying to broaden their fan base.  Picking up fans this way seems way more productive than the other chicanery they’ve tried.  

Next time you’re uncomfortable at a game, take a look around you, there might be a hero chillin there next to you.

 

Article originally appeared on Up The Pucks (http://www.upthepucks.com/).
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