I was 12 years old, playing my first year of Peewee hockey in St. Albert, Alberta. It was my first year of body contact. It was the first time I ever made a Rep (travelling) team. It was a big year for a kid like me who was always bigger than all of the kids I grew up and played with. I was finally able to use my size to my advantage without being penalized and use it I did. My coach that year was a man named Bruce Miller, who I had as a coach twice before in during my formative years in the game. He taught me the basics of the game as a young child: How to stop, how to skate with my head up, how to handle myself on the ice. I trusted the man. I grew up with him around, I played with both of his sons and he was there during some of the greatest memories of my youth playing the game we all love.
That was also the year that Sheldon Kennedy came forward with allegations that his junior coach, Graham James subjected him to years of sexual abuse.
At 12 years old, you’re able to grasp the concept of something that heavy, and something that extreme, especially when it pertains to the sport that you base your entire life around. Needless to say, it hit the Canadian hockey world right between the eyes and everybody of every age, every skill level and in every capacity of the game took notice and paid close attention to how this played out. The change was almost instant. Coaches were no longer the “hands on” teachers that they once were, literally overnight. Fear captivated the game, and sadly, it was the coaches who became the ones under the microscope.
No longer could a coach physically show you how to throw a body check, and properly place you in a position to show you how to execute work in the corners. No longer could a coach high five you after a good shift and give you a solid pat on the back. Everybody was watching. Everybody was a judge and jury, and everybody became a “victim” because of what Graham James did. That’s not to say that we all became victims in the way that Sheldon Kennedy, Theo Fleury, Todd Holt and God-who-knows how many other players who played under James were, and still are to this day. To suggest such a thing would be ludicrous. When I say victims, I refer to hockey as a sport. Those who volunteer and put in countless hours so children can learn the game, and while learning the game developing important life skills such as teamwork, friendship, social skills and above all: trust. Those who used the game as an escape, those who played the game as a way to connect with other people, Graham James ruined that.
He didn’t just ruin it for hockey. He ruined it for all sports. Gone are the days of a coach, like Roger Nielsen who, when coaching minor hockey, chaperoned a team trip to Disneyland after a season had ended. Gone are the team bonding nights spent watching hockey videos at the coaches house over pizza. Gone are the days of watching “Slap Shot” on the team bus during a road trip because the movie has exposed breasts and vulgar language in it (some parents went as far as suggesting that is the equivalent of showing children pornography. Slap Shot!) Gone are the days of trust. Now, sadly, Graham James isn’t the only coach to abuse his position and ruin the lives of young people in sport, but he certainly was the catalyst for all of the change and all of the whispers from parents all of a sudden becoming suspect of a person who is volunteering their time, after a day of work and away from their families, to help a group of young people have fun.
Ever since the James case went public, coaching numbers went down. Down to the point where some teams had to be disbanded because there wasn’t anybody willing to take the position and be subjected to suspect because of one man’s actions. It’s hard to put exactly into words as to why this happened, it wasn’t necessarily a witch hunt, but it wasn’t far off. Those who were passionate about teaching and the game of hockey were becoming uninterested. It’s also hard to fully criticize parents for their role in this, because any decent person worth their spit would be concerned about their child’s well being and who they were spending time with and who they were learning from, but Graham James installed the fear into parents as well. A coach yelling at a player after a costly turnover could be seen by parents as being “verbally abusive” and if they were doing that, what else could they be doing to their kids in the dressing room? Hands on the shoulder pads while talking into the ear of a player could be seen as a manipulative move. It became an environment of finger pointing on one end and walking on egg-shells on the other. It got ugly.
I don’t really consider myself an optimist, but I would venture to say that more than 99% of those taking the time away from their personal lives to help teach are there to do just that, but Graham James ruined that optimism. I’ve been so far removed from the world of minor hockey that I am unsure as to whether or not the attitudes have changed, and the suspicions subsided. But it’s safe to say that the actions of Graham James affected the entire hockey world forever. Graham James killed The Coach as I knew it, and I hope for the sake of young players today, the young players of the future, the young people wanting to become teachers of the world’s greatest game, the parents involved, the volunteers, the passionate ones that Graham James didn’t kill the game. I hope that one day coaches can go back to being the people that they were for me and for millions of children who play hockey: Mentors. And I hope that in light of today’s insulting slap on the wrist “punishment” handed down to James, that Sheldon Kennedy, Theo Fleury, Todd Holt and the many others who have been directly and personally affected by the actions of James and people like him, don’t stop fighting and don’t stop bringing forth awareness to what will forever be a black mark on the game, and ridding those who continue to soil it’s sanctity and forever imprison those whose trust is taken advantage of.